How Italy Changed Me

How Italy changed me

A story of homesickness, tackling grief and learning to finally love who I am, all while being alone and 15,000 kms from home!

Oh Italy, you changed me! This one is a little emotional……

At the time of visiting Italy, I was quite homesick and just felt this weird sense of unease. 

Don’t get me wrong. I did have a fabulous time. Italy was all and more of what I expected. All that fabulous food and wine, the people, the history, the art. All of it so special. So amazing. But there was just something that didn’t sit right for me. 

I knew it wasn’t Italy. I knew it wasn’t being on holiday (um the alternative was being back at work – hell no). But I just knew that I was off. Something wasn’t right and I couldn’t figure it out. For a moment there I was worried that I was over doing all this travel thing. Ah of all the dumb things that came to my mind.

It wasn’t until a very close friend from home called me when I was in Florence (she was concerned about my lacklustre replies to her check in messages) that we nutted out my problem. 

I missed my mum. 

My Italian adventure happened to be my first European trip since my darling mum passed away 15 months prior. Sure, I had gone on other holidays since she passed, but this was my first one to Europe. Usually when I go to Europe, I would check in with her every day. Often calling or FaceTime’ing each other so I could hear her news and tell her about all the exciting things I had seen or done over the last day or so.  

Mum was always super interested and keen to know everything I was up to. She would be entertained by my mishaps, interested in my adventures, wanted to know all about the local food and wine and in general, how I was getting along. Almost every call she’d giggle and then ask if I’d met any ‘nice men’.  I think she was always far more interested in my adventures than anyone else I know. 

Mum had never travelled overseas and thought I was a little crazy having this need to travel every six months. She was often worried about me travelling by myself, but trusted me enough to know I would take care of myself. I like to think by doing so she got to see a little bit of the world through my eyes. Looking at it that way, I have taken her to Indonesia, Norway, Denmark, France, Belgium, Spain, Switzerland, Ireland, UK and Thailand. She was mostly impressed by Paris!

I missed out on all of that this trip and it just did not sit well with me. I felt like I was a pressure cooker ready to explode. Worst though was that I found myself not enjoying my time in Italy as much as I thought I would and then became quite annoyed with myself for doing so. Ahhhh what a mess!

Luckily, that all changed when I could identify what this nagging feeling was (thanks Danielle!). And by doing so I gave myself the chance to work through it. Finally after months of denying myself the chance to feel my grief. I was alone, I didn’t have to hide it from anyone. I could let it all out. And Boy did I let it out! I won’t lie, it was bloody tough. Let me tell you there is nothing like having an emotional breakdown when you’re in a foreign country and SUPPOSED to be having the time of your life to really make you question where you are at in life! What a mess.

But you know what, I somehow I managed to make some clarity of it all and the heart heaviness I was feeling was just a little bit less. I knew I had to make the best this situation so on I went out onto the busy streets of Florence and Rome and enjoyed what time I had left in Italy with the appreciation of being strong enough to have worked through some pretty tough shit. Knowing that mum was always happiest when her children were happy gave me a choice of either choosing the path of letting grief beat me down or carrying on with her love and happiness in my heart.

The sadness of losing my mum will always be there. I am forever a changed woman without having her presence in my life. I am just learning to deal with the grief a little better and know that I need to keep living my best life. For her. For me.

So, for me Italy was a trip of growth (not just the pasta fuelled waistline kind of growth), learning, actually dealing with my grief (instead of hiding or not acknowledging it) and becoming so much stronger and resilient than I ever thought I could be. A chip off the old block really (Aussie slang for meaning that a child is just like one of their parents in character or behaviour). The fire and passion was back in my belly and i’ll be damed if this 40 something year old independent woman wasn’t going to continue to go out and experience the best of life.

What I also took from my trip to Italy was just how much I love the freedom of travel. How much I love getting on a plane and experiencing new places. That I am fortunate enough to be able to have these experiences is never lost on me. I learnt that I really do love throwing myself in the deep end when it comes to travel and feeling, seeing, doing as much as I can. I relearned how much I love being an independent woman with choices. But (and it is a huge BUT) most importantly, after 42 long years, I FINALLY learnt that I am pretty comfortable with who I am and that I love being me. 

In the end Italy really grew on me. So much so that I actually found myself not wanting to go home. I will be forever grateful to such a fabulous country for giving me the time and space to let myself have those moments for I feel like I have changed and am better for having had the experience.

I am also really grateful for all the pasta. And the Wine. And the Pizza and gelato and…….

So, thank you Italy. I didn’t know I needed you as much as I did. You’re like a wise old Nona, dishing out the hard love and life experiences, while at the same time loving, nurturing, caring and shoving good food in the faces of those who need your love.

Mangia bene, ridi spesso, ama molto xx

Mum

It is the two year anniversary of my mother’s passing from Ovarian Cancer today (19th February). Ovarian Cancer is one of those cancers with a high death rate cancers and limited funding for research. A matter VERY close to mine and my family’s hearts is making donations for research into early detection tests and lifting the survival rate. If you would like to donate to the Ovarian Cancer Research Foundation (OCRF) you can do so here.

To find out more about my experience at Kata Tjuta and my connection to my mum, read: ‘Finding peace and connection in the middle of Australia’

Rome Blog Post

Rome, Italy: An overview of getting lost amongst ancient history

Ah. Rome Italy.

Well I am not sure how this piece is going to go because I am still a little lost for words! Which for those who personally know me, that is kind of really surprising.

Rome kind of has that effect on you.  

So much has been written already about Rome, but here is, my take on the ‘Eternal City’ 

Rome is such a contrast of old and new. Mostly old and for any Australian traveller who loves historical sites, we are like the fat kid in the candy store. I mean our ’oldest’’ building was constructed in 1793!!! Bless our young hearts.  

There is literally so much to see and do in Rome and I really don’t know how long is enough time to say you’ve ’done Rome’. I know I missed a lot. Like I didn’t even get to Trastevere which was on my list of must sees.  In all honesty, I simply ran out of time and was pretty determined to get in a ‘live like a local, relaxed day in Rome before my 22 hours of flying home. 

I will start by saying, I am no history professor, yes, I know a bit BUT what I know is limited. I simply enjoy seeing the historical relics and learning about the history of the country in which I am visiting. I am a bit of a nerd like that! But I really do think that if you travel to a place its respectful to know what has happened there in the past. However long that past may be. Rome’s is long! Plus, I feel you’re doing yourself a disservice not knowing where a country, city or town has come from and what makes it what it is. But that’s me, who am I to judge…….  

So, Rome. Oh Rome! All roads lead to Rome. Rome if you want to.. ok I’ll stop now 😉 

A history that is diverse and long. Rome is fucking ’ancient’. There, I said it! If it is something you care for, Rome was around before Jesus. Home to numerous Gods and Goddesses and the mighty Roman Empire that conquered most of Europe. It is a city with so much. So much food, so much of Italy, so much of fashion, wine and culture. And most importantly, so much history! History that we know of, and so much that we don’t. 

And it is at that last point that I found myself on so many occasions walking around and coming across a ruin of some kind where my mind would wonder. Who was here? What did they do? Was it a goddess who was desired? A god who was loved or feared? A gladiator? A criminal? What happened here? 

Rome is a place of historical fact. But it is also a place where your imagination can really come alive. Mine certainly did. 

On this trip, I didn’t want to see modern Rome. I’ll leave that for another time. Being in Rome for 4 days meant a lot of ‘roaming’ around and experiencing the city as I wanted to. With what was important for me. 

The views and sights

I got lost a lot in Rome. Very easy to do. But getting lost became a massive highlight for me but one in particular was turning off a small cobblestoned street onto a main road (about 2 minutes from my apartment) and seeing the Colosseum. Right there at the end of the main road standing there in all its ancient glory. All an estimated ten-minute walk from where I was. Unbelievable!  

The sights in general across Rome are incredible. Taking in centuries of architecture, art and culture. Rome changes from the ancient to the middle ages to modern times at a quick walking pace. Like one minute you’re walking past a building from the last century and then up pops the ruins of what would have been something impressive 2000 years ago. Unbelievable!  

Then there’s something like the Pantheon. Which you turn a corner from a side street with buildings that are only (oh dear) a few centuries old and there it is! Just standing there. 

And then there’s the Roman Forum. The Spanish Steps. The Knights of the Malta Keyhole. The Gladiator School. The Baths of CaraCalla. The list goes on. And on. 

It would be remiss of me to not mention the Vatican. It’s Saint Peter’s Basilica. It’s museums. SO MUCH HISTORY! SO MANY STORIES!

For all parts, Rome and its sights and history really blew this Aussie mind.  

On getting lost in Rome

Boy did I get lost!  

Thought I’d nailed this getting lost business on day one with a very easy stroll from the train station to my Airbnb. 1 hour later after unpacking and getting settled I venture out to find the local supermarket and got lost on the way. Actually, pretty much as soon as I walked out of the apartment and turned down the street I was lost. Not a great start! I laughed at myself after discovering on the way home from the supermarket, that it should have been a 5-minute walk to get there, took me an hour.  

I got so lost on my Vatican City ‘cram in as much of Rome as possible’ day. Several times. Actually, every time I turned a corner!! If you are someone like me who has subpar navigation skills then it is VERY easy to get lost in Rome. But that is half the fun of exploring isn’t it? In my getting lost experience I was able to see things off the tourist trail and immerse myself more so into Roman life.  

Like I said earlier, Rome really blew my mind. It is actually hard to articulate the immense power that this city emanates and the impression that it leaves on you. It is impressive. It is powerful. It actually is a wonderful city, filled with so much that at times it is overwhelming. The food (well all of Italian food really), the wine (again, all of Italian wine), the people, even the tourists make for an experience that is something of wonder and amazement.  

I will definitely go back to Rome. There is so much I didn’t get to see in my 4 days, more experiences to have. I really want to go back to the colosseum. I really want to spend a whole day at the Vatican. I really want to go to places I didn’t get to. And I really want to eat the food, drink the wine and chat more to the locals. 

This Roman story is not over! I will see you again sometime soon Rome.  

Stay tuned for more Rome stories over the next few weeks. 

Check out the review of the apartment I stayed in while in Rome HERE

Bologna food market

Best of food in Bologna

The tour was run by Elisabeth whom I discovered through AirBnB experiences. Elisabeth is actually from the Netherlands but I specifically chose her to take the tour so I could gain an outsider’s perspective on living in Bologna.  Elisabeth is a student and attends university in Bologna. Specifically choosing Bologna for the chance to learn more about Italian food, art and culture. 

The tour took us on foot through to Bologna’s oldest chocolate shop Majani Cioccolato Boutique which was established in 1796. In Majani, I was treated to sampling 4 chocolates of which I purchased one of each to ‘take home’. None of the chocolate I purchased even left Italy as I ate it all. Too good not to. My favourite was the FIAT Cremino, a 4-layer velvety alternation of hazelnut and almond paste, with sublime creaminess. 

After Majani we walked through one of Bologna’s many food markets. We sampled some Piadina’s together which was a great chance to ask a lot of questions and take in the morning ritual of market shopping by the locals. It was especially nice to have Elisabeth sit down and eat with me. 

Piadina, Bologna

The next stop was another food market area which was quite close to the Piazza Maggiore area. The streets are lined with butchers, fruit and vegetable shops, seafood places, bakeries and traditional Italian food shops. We were also able to sample some cheese and balsamic vinegar from around the area. I really enjoyed this part of the tour and made the decision to head back later to buy some lasagne alla bolognaise which I had been eyeing off.  

Wondering around for a while we purchased some Crescentins (also known as Tigelle) which are a type of small flat bread that were filled with some meats and cheeses from the local area. We grabbed our food and ended up at Osteria del Sole that from memory was the oldest of its kind in Bologna. What an amazing little place. Families gather there with their own little picnics gathered from the surrounding markets and feast together with wine purchased at the bar. We sat on a lively table of a family that was celebrating just being together. Amazing to watch and be a part of. Elisabeth purchased our wine and after talking and eating and drinking and having such a great time, I ended up buying us more wine. Of course. 

Crescentins

Lastly, we headed off along Bolognas famous porticos to Elizabeth’s favourite gelati place. My first (of many) gelati in Italy and let me tell you it was every bit as wonderful as I had imagined it to be. The shop has an abundance of flavours to try, I settled on two after a long wait trying to decide which ones to have. 

For a 3-hour tour we certainly packed in a hell of a lot and I did not need to eat breakfast (which I was advised not to upon booking) or lunch. For just under $100 AUD this tour was certainly worth every dollar spent. Not only was the food amazing but being able to head into some places I would never have thought to if I was on my own was a really great experience. For someone whom is a new local to Bologna she certainly knows its history and stories really well.  Elisabeth is also lovely, vibrant and a truly charming person to be around. 

I’d highly recommend booking Elisabeth for your walking food tour of Bologna. 

You can book Elisabeth through AirBnB Experiences

Bologna food market

Check out more about my stay in Bologna in my post 2 nights in Bologna – The foodie capital of Italy

Carry on size luggage only: How to travel lightly for 3 weeks in Europe

I thought with all of my trips to South East Asia that I was a reasonably ok packer.  In fact, the last trip I did to Bali in 2015 I only took carry on size luggage in an attempt to save money on the cost of my flights. And I did ok. Granted a trip to Bali generally means I do some much-needed suitcase filling bargain shopping, yet I STILL managed to get home with only carry on. 

So where did it go wrong from Bali in 2015 to my last overseas and overpacked trip to Queenstown in 2018? 

I don’t know.  

Well I kind of do, some of those trips have been to much colder climates than South East Asia, like above the arctic circle cold! Some trips I have just been a total dick about what I have packed, mostly it is due to poor planning or thinking I really could need this skirt/top/cardi/hoodie/hairdryer etc etc, when in fact I clearly did not. 

I mean the amount of times I have come home from a trip with a sore back from lugging around a packed to the hilt backpack only to unpack clothes I NEVER WORE!!!! 

This happens to me ALL the time! 

Clearly forgetting the packing for Bali rule, which is: 

  1. Pack
  2. Unpack
  3. Refill your case with half of what you initially packed
  4. Unpack again
  5. Repack with a third less

Me, no I just pack everything but the kitchen sink. I mean I have contact lenses that had actually expired because I don’t wear them at home but here I am packing them and a full bottle of saline on my last trip to Queenstown because you never know, I may just be inclined to use them. 

They were never used, in fact I threw them out so I could bring home a few purchases. 

My first trip to France, a local helped me out of a train station by offering to carry my ‘backpack’ up the stairs and onto the street. Here I was worried he was going to run off with my luggage, in hindsight there is no way he’d have gotten 50 meters up the road with all I had thrown into that bag. I know my travel companion Kerryn was probably (and rightfully so) unimpressed with my massive loot on numerous occasions with me holding her up trying to lug this shitbag full of crap, but full credit to her for not giving me the ribbing I most definitely deserved. 

A few years later and back in Paris and super keen to impress my gorgeous Parisian man friend (oooh la la) who happens to be a very experienced traveler (being a travel journo and all) lead to an epic fail when trying to scale the steps of a rail overpass at 5.30am to meet a train. Him needing to head off to an assignment and all. How embarrassing when he turns to me all deliciously French and goes “Your luggage is just too much, I cannot wait for you, I have to go” and off he drifts with his teeny tiny little overnight bag into the rising sun meanwhile I’m mid flight of stairs trying to lug this ridiculous bag of shit all the while looking like an unruly mess of sweat and regret.  

Damn you bag. Damn you overpacking queen!!   

Carry on size
45 litres on the left as opposed to who knows how many litres on the right. YES!! I dragged that bag around Europe on TWO trips. Weirdo!!

A serial over packer I MAY have been in the past, but its time as a 42 year old who has enough travel experience to know better, I am challenging myself to do better with this packing thing.

My next trip which is in a few days time will be CARRY ON ONLY !

Yep that’s right, carry on sized luggage only for 3 weeks in Europe. 3 weeks in Europe with varying degrees of weather. 

Am I crazy? I don’t think so but numerous friends and family who have seen the size of my 45 litre High Sierra Convertible Carry On Backpack think it hilarious that I am even embarking on this challenge. There are more than a few that doubt that I can do this.

High Sierra AT8 Convertible Carry-On in the color Black Zest. Clicking on any of the links within the product gallery will enlarge the image. Detailshttps://shop.highsierra.com/backpacks/high-sierra-at8-convertible-carry-on/67939XXXX.html Item 67939XXXX HIGH SIERRA AT8 CONVERTIBLE CARRY-ON

Always up for a challenge and to prove people wrong, I’ll show them how easy this can be. 

I am a few days out from my trip and there are certain measures I’ve had to take to ensure that this will be a success. I have to be very calculated with what I am packing and there are a number of things I have put in place for determining what will and won’t work for me. But even before I’ve started thinking about what to pack the decision to try carry on only has impacted on where I have chosen to stay however, mode of transport has become undoubtedly easier to plan. 

So, after landing in Rome I will be heading directly to Munich on an internal flight so naturally, I have selected carry on only luggage which cut the cost of flights considerably. A win for the Aussie dollar competing with the high flying Euro!  On this trip I am cutting down on the amount of clothing considerably. Who cares if I am wearing the same clothes in my photos! The first week of my trip I am in hotels so will either need to spend time at a laundromat washing clothes or use the old bar of soap, water, and hanging dirty clothes over chairs and tables trick in an attempt to wash and dry my clothes.

I’ll be totally fine with this; I’ve done this throughout all of my travels. 

After a week of hotels its apartments and washing machines all the way! Hoorah!!

Why am I doing this?

There are so many reasons as to why carry on only is such a good option while travelling. From financial benefits of being able to select cheaper flights to skipping queues at airport bag drop off to minimsing the risk of luggage being lost and knowing you have your belongings safe with you. It seems to me a no brainer, something I should have thought of many many flights ago.

What swayed me for this trip is that I will be spending a fair amount of time walking to and from train stations and some of these walks are quite significant. Also, I’ll mostly be travelling by train. Lugging heavy baggage on and off trains is a huge pain in the arse, too much of a struggle that I simply want to avoid. 

So if you want to get on the less is better travel bandwagon by minimising your luggage and switching to carry on only, here’s some important factors to consider:

  1. Choose the right bag!

    It goes without saying that this is THE most important part of ensuring you have the right bag that will fit airline carry on requirements. Keeping in mind that all airlines have different dimension restrictions so it pays to look up what your carrier’s rules are. 

          Generally the standard size is:  56cm x 36cm x 23cm Weight 7kg 

    When choosing the right bag for carry on the whole purpose is to make your travel life simpler. Some other things to consider when choosing the right bag for you are:

  2. Detailed packing list

    The second most crucial part of nailing minimal packing is to have a detailed packing list. Having a list keeps you within your limits and on track with what you are packing. I started mine a while ago and have looked at it many times questioning the things I was intending on packing.

  3. Pack early

    Pack at least a few days before you head off on your trip so that you are not throwing things in last minute.  

  4. Be strict!

    Learn to be hard on yourself and say NO! If you can’t then enlist the help of a trusted friend to help you go through your items and get them to question why you’re packing things.  If you can’t find an answer or its wishy washy then there is simply no reason to pack that item.  Remove those ‘what ifs’, you don’t need them.

  5. Set limits

    Put a limit on toiletries and bottle sizes. All the major pharmacies, supermarkets and travel specific retailers will sell the small empty travel bottles. USE THESE. There is absolutely NO need to pack a full bottle of saline for a 3-week trip. Nor is there a need for taking all of your moisturiser when you can put a small amount into one of these empty containers. Also buy travel sized toiletries.  

    While you’re at it, put a limit on the amount of electronics you’re taking. You’re on holidays, unhook from technology for a while! 

  6. Wear bulky items on the plane

    If it is a matter or trying to get through airport check-in with the minimal amount of weight then do this and once you are through can be repacked into your bag. Also, as a space saver jackets or cardigans can double for a blanket as can a scarf be used as a pillow. 


What else am I doing to minimise my packing for this trip?

  • I’ve ditched the shampoo and conditioner bottles, opting to use an all in one soap bar for my hair from Lush. Let me tell you how gorgeous this smells and how wonderful my hair feels. The one I selected ‘Godiva’ has enough oils in it to condition your hair so you only need the one bar for washing and treating your hair. Such an awesome product I am now using this every time I wash my hair.
  • Compression packing cubes. Packing cubes in general are a must when it comes to travel. I’ve used them for years and cant do without them now. Compression packing cubes help in that they give you a few more cms in space meaning you can add more to your luggage. Just be careful with your bag weight.
  • Rolling clothes instead of folding
  • Choosing clothes that I can get multiple wears out of and can mix and match means you get more out of what you’re packing. Be clever when you’re making your list and work out what goes with what.
  • Only packing 2 pairs of shoes. One pair I will be wearing on the plane, the other will be filled with socks and underwear.
  • As I will be staying in apartments and am able to wash my clothes I have purchased washing tablets to use. But instead of taking the whole packet of 20 tablets I have put 6 tablets (more than enough for 3 weeks of travel washing) into an old vitamin bottle so they are secure and do not take up much space.
  • Ditching tablet boxes and just taking the sleeve of medication. A small thing but those boxes can take up some space that you can fill with other goodies.
  • Wearing my heavier jacket on the plane to double as a blanket
  • Not taking my huge Canon 6D MII, instead I have invested in a Canon Mirrorless that is to be used specifically for travelling. 

So there you have it. Challenge accepted! I WILL do this and continue to travel in this way from now on. 

With under a week to go I have completed my packing list and have attempted a packing trial run. While I had missed a few small items in the trial run, I still had plenty of room left in my case, which means I can do a bit of shopping. YES!!! 

Looking forward to simplifying my travels from here on. 

If you need any more tips or are interested in how this went for me, feel free to drop a comment below. 

If you found this post interesting and helpful check out my recent post about surviving a long haul flight by staying comfortable and entertained.